McEats - DITL Video
Jul. 20th, 2016 08:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
that_cost[ It starts out with basically the same McEats Intro. Some awesome music, a cartoon drawing of her holding a spatula with a big grin on her face and her usual PSA wherein this isn't for kids because she swears a lot. And then, Charlie's outside and it's obvious she's holding the camera herself. It's windy in Seattle so her hair is tied back and she has a hoodie on with a Pokemon logo on the right. ]
Hey, guys. Sorry for being absent. Like Bane said, I had some real-life stuff to handle and that had to take priority for awhile. But I'm back and I'm here to answer a question a lot of you asked lately.
'What's a day in the life like for McEats?'
I don't know how exciting this video is going to be, but here goes. It's...
[ And she checks her watch, nose wrinkling. ]
Well, my day starts early as fuck. It's 6 AM and I have to head to the docks to talk to my fish guy.
[ She inhales softly, sniffing the air for a moment before looking so happy! ]
But first, an important stop. You really can't start the day without a good breakfast.
[ Cut to: Charlie standing in line at a food truck that advertises freshly made mini cider donuts and hot coffee. She's talking to the people who run it, all friendly and familiar. ]
Is it okay if I film how the donuts are made? [ Something is said and she perks up. ]
It is? Awesome! Thank you so much.
[ And another cut to donuts being made by an old fashioned machine. Batter is dropped in perfect circles about an inch in diameter into heated oil and the donuts float along as they fry the machine flipping them perfectly so they cook right on the other side and someone scoops them out, putting them on paper to drain. Charlie orders a dozen and a coffee, asking for cinnamon sugar toppings. They're stuffed into a bag and handed over and Charlie continues on, stuffing a donut in her mouth. ]
Alway--[ Hang on. She had a mouth full of food. It's washed away with a sip of coffee and she clears her throat, addressing the camera. ]
Always ask before filming, because some people just aren't for it and that's more than okay.
[ And another cut, this time to Charlie at the docks, leaving with a long receipt in one hand. ]
Like I said, some people aren't for it. My guy at the docks is very camera shy, so I had to put the camera away. That's fine. I can respect that.
Now, to work to drop off the delivery list.
Again, this is gonna be very boring.
[ This time it's not so much a cut as it's someone sped up the boring parts of Charlie making a few more stops to order vegetables and fruits and other large quantities of ingredients, finally arriving at From the Ashes. ]
Okay! It's actually now about...ten in the morning and a lot of my orders have been placed for work. We buy local and support small business farmers and butcher shops and deal only with the freshest ingredients. It's something we all agreed on before we even opened the place. You wanna see where I work?
[ This is probably where Nolan got a hold of things and did some editing because Charlie's entrance into the back door of her restaurant is in slow motion and to Lenny Kravitz' cover of American Woman, but then there's a record scratch as Charlie almost walks into someone and apologizes profusely. ]
Oh, god. Are you okay? You good? Hey! How's it going? Good to see you.
[ And to the camera, she looks properly embarrassed as she ducks off screen. It's another cut, this time to the prep area. ]
This is where I do a lot of help with prep work. Chopping, filleting, portioning. All the boring shit that goes into making great food.
[ She clearly does not think this is boring. Not with the big dumb grin on her face. ]
All of my orders from earlier are starting to roll in, and what usually happens is I pick a few things out to make a special for the day, whip it up and show everyone how to do it. Thankfully, I had a coworker do it yesterday and there are ribs cooking in the oven for a braised rib taco dish for today. So I don't have to worry.
Sorry. Next time.
[ There's a few more spots filled in with Charlie actually doing some cooking, and even doing some prep work for an Angry Phoenix challenge. This involves making a pasta infused with Ghost Pepper oil, a thick sauce made from several crazy-hot peppers, tomatoes, garlic, onions. It's basically madness with some extra large crawfish and prawns and clams thrown in and the pasta is hand rolled. Instead of showing who has the challenge coming their way, she shows people the Wall of Shame, wherein there are 78 people. The Wall of Fame is deceptively empty and there may or may not be Halloween cobwebs strung across it. ]
Maybe someday there'll be a picture up. I doubt it. I'm not exactly nice when it comes to that food challenge. Which, someone’s going to learn real soon, aren’t you, Bane?
[ With that, Charlie turns the camera to one Bane, a grin on his face. ]
Darn tootin’! [He adds a thumbs up for emphasis to add to his cheesy smile and deliberately stilted speech.] Because nothing says fun like dining on fine Italian cuisine made with top quality seafood and the concentrated essence of a thousand demon buttholes to burn the flesh from my skin! And mouth. And esophagus...and my butthole. I’m basically gonna burn alive, is what I’m trying to say.
[ There’s nothing but laughter from Charlie and then she turns the camera to herself for a moment. ]
If he finishes, he said he’s gonna donate the five hundred dollar cash prize to charity.
[ And there’s more, but Charlie won’t say, turning the camera back to Bane. ]
[Rocky nodded, still overly cheerful….and still giving the camera a thumbs up.]
I’ll leave it to them in my will! Because I’m gonna be a pile of garlic scented ashes. [He then abruptly drapes an arm around Charlie’s shoulders, deliberately hanging on her as he continues to address the camera.]
I’m gonna die is what I’m saying. From demon butthole pasta. And fire. [He pauses, looking down at Charlie with a dubious expression.] I just wanna know, are you a confirmed sadist? Or is it just a hobby? [He’s fighting the giggles now, and leaning on her more for support than to be obnoxious and derpy.]
[ Charlie looks up at him, smirking and trying to not giggle, too. He’s cute. She can easily admit to that. ]
This is the part where you want me to offer words of comfort and reassure you that everything’ll be fine, isn’t it?
[ Silence. And then Charlie’s laughing. ]
That’s funny.
[Rocky’s just giggling endlessly now, resting his forehead on her shoulder as he tries to quell his laughter, but without success. He can’t help it, it’s been a crazy few days, he’s insane, and she’s his brand of crazy. He’s kind of not ready to ever go home, and thinks he may have found his new best friend, and bonus: she’s a super cute blonde.]
I hate you.
[It might as well have been an ‘I love you’ as he finally got some of his giggles under control and composed himself. Straightening, he made a show of brushing off his shirt, straightening an imaginary tie over the Playstation t-shirt he was wearing, then saluted Charlie theatrically.]
Right. Into battle with demon buttholes I go.
[He turns to the camera one last time, faking a grimace of desperation.]
Help!...
[ With that, Charlie turns to the camera with a smirk. ]
He’s right. I kinda am a sadist. Kinda. Now that you know, you’ll have to wait to see how this goes when Bane posts his video. Later!
[ And now it's time to go home, but there are no exterior shots of her apartment. Instead, it's right to the interior. Right where she's seated next to one Nolan from 'Keep the Camera's Nolan'. They're both grinning at the camera, Nolan looking kinda tired but happy to see Charlene. He's eating something she brought home, as is she, and when she swallows the bite in her mouth, she addresses the camera one last time. ]
Hey, all. It's now 9:30 at night, sorry most of the day was spent at work. But, you asked what I did and there it was. When I'm not working on videos for all of you, I'm working hard at feeding people and sometimes I come home to my roommate and watch bad tv until it's time to sleep. Thank you for putting up with this pathetic excuse for a video and tune in next week where, to celebrate the release of PokemonGo!, I teach you all how to make Pokemon Candy Cake Pops. Keep being awesome! BYE!
[ AAAnd the outro music.]
Hey, guys. Sorry for being absent. Like Bane said, I had some real-life stuff to handle and that had to take priority for awhile. But I'm back and I'm here to answer a question a lot of you asked lately.
'What's a day in the life like for McEats?'
I don't know how exciting this video is going to be, but here goes. It's...
[ And she checks her watch, nose wrinkling. ]
Well, my day starts early as fuck. It's 6 AM and I have to head to the docks to talk to my fish guy.
[ She inhales softly, sniffing the air for a moment before looking so happy! ]
But first, an important stop. You really can't start the day without a good breakfast.
[ Cut to: Charlie standing in line at a food truck that advertises freshly made mini cider donuts and hot coffee. She's talking to the people who run it, all friendly and familiar. ]
Is it okay if I film how the donuts are made? [ Something is said and she perks up. ]
It is? Awesome! Thank you so much.
[ And another cut to donuts being made by an old fashioned machine. Batter is dropped in perfect circles about an inch in diameter into heated oil and the donuts float along as they fry the machine flipping them perfectly so they cook right on the other side and someone scoops them out, putting them on paper to drain. Charlie orders a dozen and a coffee, asking for cinnamon sugar toppings. They're stuffed into a bag and handed over and Charlie continues on, stuffing a donut in her mouth. ]
Alway--[ Hang on. She had a mouth full of food. It's washed away with a sip of coffee and she clears her throat, addressing the camera. ]
Always ask before filming, because some people just aren't for it and that's more than okay.
[ And another cut, this time to Charlie at the docks, leaving with a long receipt in one hand. ]
Like I said, some people aren't for it. My guy at the docks is very camera shy, so I had to put the camera away. That's fine. I can respect that.
Now, to work to drop off the delivery list.
Again, this is gonna be very boring.
[ This time it's not so much a cut as it's someone sped up the boring parts of Charlie making a few more stops to order vegetables and fruits and other large quantities of ingredients, finally arriving at From the Ashes. ]
Okay! It's actually now about...ten in the morning and a lot of my orders have been placed for work. We buy local and support small business farmers and butcher shops and deal only with the freshest ingredients. It's something we all agreed on before we even opened the place. You wanna see where I work?
[ This is probably where Nolan got a hold of things and did some editing because Charlie's entrance into the back door of her restaurant is in slow motion and to Lenny Kravitz' cover of American Woman, but then there's a record scratch as Charlie almost walks into someone and apologizes profusely. ]
Oh, god. Are you okay? You good? Hey! How's it going? Good to see you.
[ And to the camera, she looks properly embarrassed as she ducks off screen. It's another cut, this time to the prep area. ]
This is where I do a lot of help with prep work. Chopping, filleting, portioning. All the boring shit that goes into making great food.
[ She clearly does not think this is boring. Not with the big dumb grin on her face. ]
All of my orders from earlier are starting to roll in, and what usually happens is I pick a few things out to make a special for the day, whip it up and show everyone how to do it. Thankfully, I had a coworker do it yesterday and there are ribs cooking in the oven for a braised rib taco dish for today. So I don't have to worry.
Sorry. Next time.
[ There's a few more spots filled in with Charlie actually doing some cooking, and even doing some prep work for an Angry Phoenix challenge. This involves making a pasta infused with Ghost Pepper oil, a thick sauce made from several crazy-hot peppers, tomatoes, garlic, onions. It's basically madness with some extra large crawfish and prawns and clams thrown in and the pasta is hand rolled. Instead of showing who has the challenge coming their way, she shows people the Wall of Shame, wherein there are 78 people. The Wall of Fame is deceptively empty and there may or may not be Halloween cobwebs strung across it. ]
Maybe someday there'll be a picture up. I doubt it. I'm not exactly nice when it comes to that food challenge. Which, someone’s going to learn real soon, aren’t you, Bane?
[ With that, Charlie turns the camera to one Bane, a grin on his face. ]
Darn tootin’! [He adds a thumbs up for emphasis to add to his cheesy smile and deliberately stilted speech.] Because nothing says fun like dining on fine Italian cuisine made with top quality seafood and the concentrated essence of a thousand demon buttholes to burn the flesh from my skin! And mouth. And esophagus...and my butthole. I’m basically gonna burn alive, is what I’m trying to say.
[ There’s nothing but laughter from Charlie and then she turns the camera to herself for a moment. ]
If he finishes, he said he’s gonna donate the five hundred dollar cash prize to charity.
[ And there’s more, but Charlie won’t say, turning the camera back to Bane. ]
[Rocky nodded, still overly cheerful….and still giving the camera a thumbs up.]
I’ll leave it to them in my will! Because I’m gonna be a pile of garlic scented ashes. [He then abruptly drapes an arm around Charlie’s shoulders, deliberately hanging on her as he continues to address the camera.]
I’m gonna die is what I’m saying. From demon butthole pasta. And fire. [He pauses, looking down at Charlie with a dubious expression.] I just wanna know, are you a confirmed sadist? Or is it just a hobby? [He’s fighting the giggles now, and leaning on her more for support than to be obnoxious and derpy.]
[ Charlie looks up at him, smirking and trying to not giggle, too. He’s cute. She can easily admit to that. ]
This is the part where you want me to offer words of comfort and reassure you that everything’ll be fine, isn’t it?
[ Silence. And then Charlie’s laughing. ]
That’s funny.
[Rocky’s just giggling endlessly now, resting his forehead on her shoulder as he tries to quell his laughter, but without success. He can’t help it, it’s been a crazy few days, he’s insane, and she’s his brand of crazy. He’s kind of not ready to ever go home, and thinks he may have found his new best friend, and bonus: she’s a super cute blonde.]
I hate you.
[It might as well have been an ‘I love you’ as he finally got some of his giggles under control and composed himself. Straightening, he made a show of brushing off his shirt, straightening an imaginary tie over the Playstation t-shirt he was wearing, then saluted Charlie theatrically.]
Right. Into battle with demon buttholes I go.
[He turns to the camera one last time, faking a grimace of desperation.]
Help!...
[ With that, Charlie turns to the camera with a smirk. ]
He’s right. I kinda am a sadist. Kinda. Now that you know, you’ll have to wait to see how this goes when Bane posts his video. Later!
[ And now it's time to go home, but there are no exterior shots of her apartment. Instead, it's right to the interior. Right where she's seated next to one Nolan from 'Keep the Camera's Nolan'. They're both grinning at the camera, Nolan looking kinda tired but happy to see Charlene. He's eating something she brought home, as is she, and when she swallows the bite in her mouth, she addresses the camera one last time. ]
Hey, all. It's now 9:30 at night, sorry most of the day was spent at work. But, you asked what I did and there it was. When I'm not working on videos for all of you, I'm working hard at feeding people and sometimes I come home to my roommate and watch bad tv until it's time to sleep. Thank you for putting up with this pathetic excuse for a video and tune in next week where, to celebrate the release of PokemonGo!, I teach you all how to make Pokemon Candy Cake Pops. Keep being awesome! BYE!
[ AAAnd the outro music.]
